almost better…

mejeanbirthday

I made it to midnight this New Year’s Eve, the first time in three years, and as I raised my glass to cheers with tipsy friends I felt so grateful to be there, to be functioning, to be happy and to be almost recovered… Read on

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skiing? goal achieved!

onskisThe big news is that I went skiing last month. Yep, that’s right, me, the CFS warrior went skiing. Woo hoo! And why haven’t I shouted this from the rooftops and stamped it all over social media? Why haven’t I yelled loudly and proudly about achieving this goal I set two years ago? Well, I wasn’t sure how to explain that I did something as insanely energetic as skiing, yet I still have chronic fatigue… Read on

Progress not Perfection

openerAs a lifelong overachiever one of the hardest things I find with recovery from CFS is acknowledging the slow progress I’m making. I don’t want to improve at turtle-pace I want to wake up recovered. I want to progress in leaps and bounds and achieve things like I used to, glacial pace doesn’t please me at all. The thing is though, with this illness, that’s not how recovery works. Read on

Climbing back up the cliff

beddogsI recently found myself in a CFS setback, back to being housebound and some days bedbound. On the other side of this setback though, having returned to my baseline, I can now see that it was a good thing, that those six weeks of fatigue and confusion and pain and grossness were actually worth it. Why? Because I realised my health is actually improving! Read on

Fatigue-iversary

mebaking I had a nasty thought the other day that my entire year as a 27-year-old was just spent being sick. Wow, that’s a great way to make yourself miserable Susan, so let’s rearrange that thought little miss overachiever. Ok, yes I was sick with CFS for my 28th year on this earth, but more importantly some very good things happened too.
Read on

Grieving for the past two years

openerWhy have I been so sad? Why do I cry watching clichéd American TV shows? Where has my motivation gone? What’s going on? Am I depressed again? Or maybe it’s something else… Something else? Maybe it’s July. And why is July significant? Well, it just so happens that in the month of July, two exhausting years ago, I got sick, and I didn’t get better. Read on

Hey There Kiddo, It’s OK

mehoodieRecovering from CFS isn’t a matter of snapping your fingers and waking up all better; it’s a slow  journey with many twists and turns. Given this, I need to cut myself some slack and realise that I’m looking after myself the best way I can. I almost need my own personal cheerleader telling me “awesome, right on, like totally freak me out!” Read on