almost better…

mejeanbirthday

I made it to midnight this New Year’s Eve, the first time in three years, and as I raised my glass to cheers with tipsy friends I felt so grateful to be there, to be functioning, to be happy and to be almost recovered… Read on

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Body Rebalancing

openerI’ve been doing well lately, really well, but I haven’t blogged about it until now as I have not trusted it at all. I’ve been waiting for my body to knock itself over and cackle at me with a maniacal grin, “just tricking, you can’t do all this”. But maybe I can?  Continue reading

Progress not Perfection

openerAs a lifelong overachiever one of the hardest things I find with recovery from CFS is acknowledging the slow progress I’m making. I don’t want to improve at turtle-pace I want to wake up recovered. I want to progress in leaps and bounds and achieve things like I used to, glacial pace doesn’t please me at all. The thing is though, with this illness, that’s not how recovery works. Read on

Much better bad days

hittingcricketballmeI want to tell you about my bad days. Why? Because the bad days I have now, would have been considered good days a year ago! My bad days have improved to the point that, early last year I would have been happy to spend a day at that level, I would have considered it a pretty great day in fact! Read on

Climbing back up the cliff

beddogsI recently found myself in a CFS setback, back to being housebound and some days bedbound. On the other side of this setback though, having returned to my baseline, I can now see that it was a good thing, that those six weeks of fatigue and confusion and pain and grossness were actually worth it. Why? Because I realised my health is actually improving! Read on

Grieving for the past two years

openerWhy have I been so sad? Why do I cry watching clichéd American TV shows? Where has my motivation gone? What’s going on? Am I depressed again? Or maybe it’s something else… Something else? Maybe it’s July. And why is July significant? Well, it just so happens that in the month of July, two exhausting years ago, I got sick, and I didn’t get better. Read on

Hey There Kiddo, It’s OK

mehoodieRecovering from CFS isn’t a matter of snapping your fingers and waking up all better; it’s a slow  journey with many twists and turns. Given this, I need to cut myself some slack and realise that I’m looking after myself the best way I can. I almost need my own personal cheerleader telling me “awesome, right on, like totally freak me out!” Read on